


Brotherhood Duty Sacrifice Might

by hati_skoll



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, M/M, Rough Sex, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 01:19:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hati_skoll/pseuds/hati_skoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lessons Squad Levi leaves Eren with- B.D.S.M. Along with some instances of tough love from the man himself. Set in the month leading up to the 57th Expedition outside the Walls.</p><p> </p><p>(This is how Eren/Levi would work in my canon head-verse)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brotherhood Duty Sacrifice Might

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kurenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurenix/gifts).



> Written for a canon Eren-centric Prompt, and because I can't write a fic without a ship, I threw in some Levi/Eren for good measure. I tried to make this as close to canon as... humanly... possible.

### 21 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

His bedroom was stripped down, bare to the bones, utilitarian. White-washed stone walls, granite flooring, a single wooden bed, and a flea-bitten mattress. Corporal Levi had disinfected it thoroughly, but there were still holes showing through the fabric. The place had been in shambles when they got here, they made do with what they had, but still, the years of neglect showed in the little details.

Eren Jaeger flung himself down on his bed, raising his hand high above him. The Titan’s immense power, just one little bite away—it was inconceivable. Goddammit, he had a responsibility to humanity. He was supposed to be out there, getting rid of the vermin. Not holed up in some God-forsaken dungeon.

No. Eren berated himself. This was necessary; Commander Erwin made the right call. He had to learn control. He attacked Mikasa that last time, the only family he had left. This Titan’s power was volatile, and for him to be of any use to humanity, he had to learn to control it. Commander Erwin and Corporal Levi saved him from an uncertain death. It wasn’t that he was ungrateful. Of course, he knew he owed them. But… he wanted… He wanted… Oh, he didn’t know what he wanted any more.

“Eren,” a voice sliced through his turmoil, “The noises you make echo up to my room.”

Eren bolted upright, “Corporal!”

He winced as his voice reverberated off the walls. “Sorry.”

Corporal Levi stared at him blandly, brushing an invisible bit of lint off his shoulder. He crossed his arms, and Eren tensed. He couldn’t help feeling nervous around the older soldier.

“I didn’t know that my voice would echo up to your room,” Eren said, half in apology.

Humanity’s strongest soldier shrugged, “If you lose it, I’ll be able to handle you efficiently.”

“I see,” Eren muttered.

An awkward silence followed, Eren shifted nervously in his bed. But Corporal Levi seemed content to stare at him from the other side of the metal bars.

“You understand,” Levi mused, “That I’ll kill you if the situation calls for it.”

“Yes, sir.”

Another awkward pause, then Corporal Levi turned to leave, “Good then. Go to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.”

He promptly flopped himself down on the uncomfortable, lumpy mattress, valiantly trying to be a good soldier, to follow the Corporal’s orders. But ‘going to sleep’ was easier said than done. Eren tossed around for a couple more minutes, before remembering what Corporal Levi said about his bedroom’s acoustics.

Well then, he would sleep even if it meant staying up the entire night. Eren wrapped his arm around his torso, keeping himself perfectly still and his breathing perfectly even. The crickets hummed in the wide fields beyond his window, a loud, jarring symphony of clicking and buzzing. One Titan dead, two Titans dead, three Titans dead…

His arms felt a little numb in the position. Eren itched to shift to his side. But if he couldn’t listen to the simplest order of ‘going to sleep’, then what would that make him? A failure of a soldier, that’s what. Four Titans dead, five Titans dead, six Titans dead… A sigh escaped him, and Eren pursed his lips. Seventh head crushed, eighth rent in two, ninth twisted and torn, tenth impaled by stakes.

Eleventh shorn and shredded. Twelfth sliced and diced. Thirteenth minced. Fourteenth—

“Eren, you can keep your torture techniques to yourself,” a mildly annoyed voice said from the shadows.

“Corporal Levi!”

“Are you going to keep this up the entire night, or are you going to sleep?”

Eren flushed a bright glowing red, “Sleep, sir!”

“Then close your eyes. And shut up.”

Eren obediently closed his eyes, cracking one eye open again when he didn’t hear the Corporal retreat. But then he realized the man had already gone, just that he hadn’t noticed it. Corporal Levi could be oddly silent when he wanted to be. Well then. One Titan dead, two Titan dead, three Titan dead…

The crickets chirped in the background, and Eren paused in his counting for a moment. Four Titan dead, five titan dead, six… He didn’t seem to be getting any sleepier. Seventh Titan squashed, eight Titan ground, ninth Titan… Oh boy, it was going to be a long night.

  


### 20 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

White bandages coming loose around the hand she waved errantly, Petra looked on as Eren conscientiously carried out his morning duties. “Careful with the egg shells!”

“Got it,” Eren murmured, eyes focused on their pre-made breakfast.

He cracked the egg on the table, peeling it apart with extraordinary precision, allowing the bright golden yolk to fall into the waiting ceramic bowl. If a Titan could be cracked open this easily, then… Eren beat at the egg with unnecessary strength, eyes blazing with determination.

“I didn’t know you were passionate about cooking too, Eren.”

“Me?” Eren blinked, but he didn’t miss a beat in his egg-beating, “Not particularly.”

“It just seemed like you really enjoyed it,” Petra smiled slyly, “Would you like to take charge of the cooking from now on?”

“No! I mean, I— I think… I think I need more training, I won’t be able to cook all our meals properly.”

Petra laughed as Eren sprinkled chives and salt into his beaten eggs, adding just a dash of soy sauce.

“You don’t have to look so worried. I was just pulling your leg, all right?”

Eren glanced sideways at the ginger-haired girl, gaze settling on her self-inflicted injury, “I’m grateful that you guys put so much thought into it, but biting yourselves seem a little over-the-top. You even broke skin.”

“We wanted to do it, it’s a small price, but it stands for something, doesn’t it?”

Eren paused, and the girl recognized the expression on his face for consternation. She waited as he struggled to find the words to say, and finally, he sighed, “It just doesn’t seem very fair.”

Petra looked at him, brows raised. And Eren belatedly realized how that had sounded.

“I don’t mean it’s unfair to me. I mean, it’s unfair to you,” he quickly clarified, “Even if I bite myself, I heal after shifting into a Titan. But for the rest of you… Ouch! Did I say something wrong? What was the pinch for?”

“For belittling our intentions and belittling us, dummy.”

“But I—”

“Look Eren, this bite isn’t an apology. This is a bond, for all of us. It’s like… a symbol of our brotherhood of sorts; you could say that,” Petra shrugged, “And in the future, don’t you dare use your Titan-shifting as basis for comparison. Titan-shifting or not, we’ll still be able to take you down, you got that?”

“Yes,” Eren replied, smiling slightly, “I got it.”

“Good. Now you should hurry up, Auruo’s a pompous ass when he’s hungry. Not that he isn’t a pompous ass on a regular basis.”

That managed to drag a laugh out of Eren.

“Petra, how are you supposed to be a fitting housewife, if you take forever to prepare breakfast?”

Petra rolled her eyes dramatically and Eren bit back a grin.

“You can stop trying to imitate Corporal Levi, Auruo. It’s not working.”

“I have not the slightest idea of what you’re insinuating.”

“Of course you do,” Petra retorted, “You’re doing it right now. It’s creepy.”

“No, I’m n— Oh. Crap, I bit my tongue.”

Petra snickered in exasperation, “You do that all the time. All right, open up. Let’s see how bad it is this round.”

“I donth dof ith orh ver timf,” the man protested.

“Seems like you’ll be getting an ulcer again. Here, salt helps.”

“Salt hurts!”

“It’ll hurt either way,” Petra replied smugly.

Corporal Levi appeared at the kitchen’s door, raising his brows at the scene in front of him, before remarking drily, “It’s crowded in here today.”

“Corporal Levi!”

“I assume breakfast preparations are not yet complete.”

“Sorry,” Eren said, wincing.

“It’s fine. I just woke. Just remember to clean up after you’re done with the cooking.”

Petra visibly startled, “You just woke, Corporal Levi?”

The man continued on, unfazed, “A certain brat kept me up for the entire night.”

Petra’s eyes widened. Auruo’s jaw dropped.

“A… A certain brat, Corporal Levi?”

“Yes, do we have any other brats stashed away aside from this one?” Levi snorted, his tone easily dismissive, “His moaning could drive even the most patient man up the wall. And patience is not a virtue I would claim to possess.”

“I'm very sorry, Corporal Levi!” Eren blurted out, face flushed.

Petra and Auruo glanced between the both of them, faces a comedic cross between horror and fascination. Eren didn’t exactly help matters when he mumbled his apologies, blushing a brilliant red. And Corporal Levi crossed his arms in his usual blasé nonchalance.

“Just clean up the area when you’re done.”

“Yes, sir!”

Corporal Levi promptly departed. This left Eren saddled with two understandably curious squad members, eyes wide as saucers and mouth opening and closing wordlessly.  
“Eren, you…” Petra trailed off, and Eren gulped, her eyes had taken on a bright, watery sheen. She looked rather… frightening, really.

“Eren, I can’t believe you!”

“Huh? Ouch!”

She stormed out of the kitchen in a flash. Eren stared after the girl in pure bewilderment, hand raised to his ribs where she’d socked him. Auruo looked on with a mix of amusement, awe and suspicion, none of which Eren actually understood.

“Sir, what did I do?” Eren asked hesitantly.

“Ah… Well, Petra just holds Corporal Levi in especially high regard.”

So she was upset that Eren had deprived Captain Levi of sleep the previous night? Was that it? Did that really earn him a sock in the guts?

“Ah, I see.”

The older man grinned, “Don’t worry, she’ll get over it.”

“She will?” Eren repeated hopefully.

“Of course. The corporal must really see something in you, brat. He’d never do that with anyone, otherwise. You know how much of a clean-freak he is.”

Eren nodded quietly, even if he hadn’t quite understood Auruo’s words. The man had paid him a compliment, that much he was sure of, and that was terribly rare in itself. He might as well accept the compliment with grace.

“Thank you,” he said politely, hard to go wrong by thanking someone.

Auruo raised a brow, before saying, “You should get back to preparing breakfast, brat. You’re not going to make a very good wife if you leave Corporal Levi hungry all the time.”

“Yes, sir!”

Eren turned back to the chopping table, Auruo’s footsteps resounding behind him. Wife? But he was male. Eren pursed his lips. Auruo sure had a strange way of saying things, even Corporal Levi didn’t speak like that.

  


### 14 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

The chess pieces were well-worn, surfaces smoothened with use, colors faded. Eren sat cross-legged at the head of his bed, silently contemplating the board placed in the middle of his freshly washed cotton sheets. They were fresh out of the laundry basket, and so they still smelled of sunshine and morning breeze. But night had already fallen, and so he was back in his bedroom— he’d stopped thinking of it as The Dungeon after a while, still the clean sheets felt like a piece of light and daytime that stayed with him.

“Eren, you’re not focused.”

He startled, blinking rapidly, “Sorry.”

Corporal Levi sat at the edge of his bed, looking none too nonplussed at Eren’s apparent lack of focus in their chess match.

“Your next move, Eren?” the man prompted.

Eren stared hard at the chess pieces. Chess, he remembered, was a game both Commander Pixis and Commander Erwin seemed to excel at. Armin ought to be pretty good at it too. That one time Eren played him, Armin had beat him flat. But then again, Eren wasn’t much of a match. He wasn’t good at chess, he didn’t even make it to mediocre. Why Corporal Levi made it a point to play him these nights was still a mystery. One, Eren figured, he’d never be able to solve.

He lifted his rook from its square, squinting at the pieces he had left. They were a dismal handful compared to Corporal Levi’s close-to untouched contingent. Well, he’d never claimed any level of proficiency in the game.

“Check.”

Corporal Levi looked from the chess board to Eren, and back to the chess board, scowling brilliantly. Once again, Eren felt the strongest urge to duck inside his sheets. Oh. There went his rook.

He moved his knight. “Check.”

And there went his knight.

Bishop. “Check.”

Bye-bye bishop.

Corporal Levi stared at him, gaze cold. And Eren felt a shiver go down his spine. Shouldn’t the man feel the slightest bit happy about winning?

“Check?”

“Check mate,” Corporal Levi coolly announced, eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance.

Well, another win to Corporal Levi, not that it was unusual. Eren rearranged himself as Corporal Levi collected the pieces and placed each of them neatly into a small, black, wooden chest. Strangely enough, the man made no move to leave, seeming perfectly content to settle at the foot of Eren’s bed, legs outstretched. Eren leaned back against his pillow, unsure of what the Corporal wanted.

“You need to learn to focus,” Corporal Levi finally said.

“Sorry?”

“From what I’ve seen of you, brat, your head’s only filled with violence and vengeance. It’s not a bad thing,” the Corporal shrugged, “But you need focus. You’re a weapon, Eren. You’re Mankind’s most destructive weapon, but you need to learn to aim that destructive force of yours.”

“Is that the reason behind the recent chess games, Corporal?”

The man crossed his arms behind his head, “That’s one of it.”

“One of it?”

Corporal Levi arched a menacing brow and Eren swallowed. The man unnerved him half the time, even though he was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, or maybe because of it.  
Then, Corporal Levi made a sound of irritation, “You’re an interesting brat.”

“Corporal?”

“I didn’t think a brat like you could hold so much pain and loathing in that numbskull brain of yours, but I suppose I’m not surprised. That’s almost all there is in your brain.”

“It won’t interfere with my duties.”

“No? What if you saw the Titan who killed your mother, what if the Titan was close enough to crush, and what if we held you back? Would you foolishly rush ahead to satisfy your thirst for revenge, or would you follow the orders we give you like a good soldier?”

And all Eren could see was red, a haze of maddened, angry, terrifying red. It was the crimson red of blood, the red of everyone who had died by the hands of those hateful monsters, the red of his comrades who fell in Trost, the red of his mother who perished in Shiganshina, the red that dyed his heart and soul, the red that drove him to live, to fight. He’d sworn to fight, fight and win, to kill the Titans, every last one of them. Kill them for stomping on humanity’s pride, kill them for taking away everything that mattered to Man, kill them for crushing hopes and dreams, lives and families. Kill them all. Kill them.

“And there we have your answer,” the Corporal remarked blandly.

“Corporal Levi, I—”

“I don’t blame you, Eren. Telling you not to kill that Titan, it’ll be like telling you not to breathe, because it’s the driving force that’s brought you this far, and kept you alive. It’s part of who you are.”

“You’ll forgive me if I disobeyed orders?”

“Just because I understand what makes you tick, doesn’t mean I’ll forgive your transgressions. If anything, I’ll hold you to your orders all the more,” Corporal Levi gave a mirthless smile, “You’re part of the Survey Corps now, and that means, you must put your grievances, your emotions, your wants aside for the sake of everyone else. Your needs, as an individual, pale in comparison compared to the needs of humanity. That’s what it means to join the survey corps, not just to give up your life, but to give up yourself for the sake of all of Mankind.”

Eren clenched his fists, fingers digging into his palm, drawing blood.

“What will you do, Eren?”

He stopped, unclenching his fists and spreading out his fingers. Both of them watched as the welling blood receded and his skin knitted together.

“I will become Mankind’s most destructive weapon.”

The smile Corporal Levi wore turned vicious and— if Eren could read the man right, triumphant. So that was what the Corporal had wanted.

  


### 12 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

Auruo stood in front of the new recruits, once again running them through the long-distance formation. Unlike previous batches, the recruits from the hundred-and-fourth trainee squad had a worn-down, jaded look to their eyes. They didn’t have that stubborn, slightly suicidal air experienced soldiers had, they hadn’t earned it yet. But they weren’t fresh-behind-the-ears idealists either. These recruits had lived through the Battle for Trost, they’d survived the Titans’ cruel massacre. They knew real fear, life-threatening fear, the type of fear that brought a man to his knees.

An explosion sounded not too far off the compound, and Auruo groaned. Damn that Hanji, did she have to play with Eren right in the middle of his lesson?

Mikasa Ackerman looked in the direction of the explosion, brows drawn together in concern. Beside her, Armin Arlert had paused in his writing, visibly straining his ears. Jean Kirschtein tapped his pencil against the table, he looked as bored as he was five minutes ago, but there seemed to be a sort of awareness to his posture. And a few moments later, Ymir burst out laughing, defusing the tension in the classroom.

It was as if they could be perfectly in sync with one another, all the while remaining completely alone in their personal thoughts and motivations.

“Class dismissed,” he called out. The class rose in a single movement, bowed in a single movement and filed out of the room. Yeah, he never quite saw a batch of recruits like that batch. Then again, the brat Eren was a striking anomaly too.

Auruo hurriedly packed his teaching materials, jogging back to Squad Levi’s wing, before heading off into the woods that surrounded them.

And right there in the middle of the clearing, was a quickly evaporating Titan-body. Eren was being forcefully dragged out of the organic shell by a clearly annoyed Corporal Levi. And Squad Leader Hanji danced about in blatant excitement amidst the commotion.

“How was it today?” Auruo asked.

Corporal Levi hefted the brat up, and Eren looked around dazedly, before slumping over the Corporal, his legs giving way under his body’s weight.

“He’s making progress. We get a few moments of consciousness before he goes out like a light,” Squad Leader Hanji announced cheerfully.

Corporal Levi snorted, “He’s not going to be very useful if he doesn’t have any control over his Titan.”

“Looks like he’s really out of it,” Hanji ruffled the boy’s hair, obtrusively peering into his face, “All the nights he’d spent entertaining you on your whims, poor thing must be downright exhausted.”

“They weren’t on my whims,” Levi shot back impatiently.

“No? So whose were they, Erwin’s?”

“They weren’t whims. They were a commitment.”

“A commitment,” Hanji and Petra repeated.

“To keep the brat grounded, to tie him to humanity,” Levi explained irritably.

“But wouldn’t that be leading Eren on?” Petra protested.

The Corporal turned to her, blinking as he seemed to struggle for an appropriate response. But then Squad Leader Hanji cut in, “How are chess games going to tie Eren to humanity?”

Chess games? Auruo frowned, swallowing nervously. What sort of games were Corporal Levi and the brat playing at night? Strip chess? Favor-betting on chess pieces? Or was chess a euphemism for sex for the higher-ups? Wait… Did that mean Commander Erwin had propositioned them when he’d challenged some of the men to chess that last time? All of them had politely declined, of course, but had chess really meant… chess?

“Chess helps to put things in perspective. It frees one’s mind of worthless thoughts and crippling emotions.”

Squad Levi promptly blushed at their Corporal’s blatant words. So he did enjoy his nightly exercises… pun unintended, with the brat. Well, he didn’t have to be so vocal about it. It was downright embarrassing for them to hear Corporal Levi talk about intimate details.

“Hey, Eren, wake up.”

The boy stirred, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Eren, I’m not going to haul you back like an invalid. You’re going to walk back on your own two feet.”

“Cor— Corporal?” Eren moved, this time, rubbing his eyes blearily.

“Finally,” the man stepped away, and Eren stumbled a step or two, but miraculously stayed upright.

“Corporal, how could you treat your— I mean, Eren, so coldly?” Petra chastised, hooking an arm around the brat’s waist, right in front of the Corporal too, Auruo gaped, “You could at least hold his hand, after all the sleep you’ve deprived him of.”

There was a length of awkward silence, before Eren struggled to walk and landed himself in the Corporal’s waiting arms. The brat sure wasn’t subtle either. Corporal Levi raised a brow, but he didn’t scold Eren, only toted the boy by his hip as he would spare baggage.

“Alright, let’s head back.”

“I can walk,” Eren mumbled, only to be silenced by the Corporal’s deadly glare.

They were greeted at the doorstep by a clearly exhausted Gunter. Although why the man was so desperately exhausted was still a mystery. He only had a full day of arranging the ledgers— within the cool sanctity of their library, which was decidedly a less tiresome job when compared to lecturing the new recruits or helping Hanji with her Erexperiments.

“Auruo! You’re back, thank god!” Gunter cried.

Odd. They were buddies, of course, but he’d never received that sort of gratitude just for returning to base.

“Auruo! Auruo!”

“Big brother! We’ve missed you!”

“Oh sh— Oof!” Auruo groaned as a couple of little devils tackled him right in the midsection. Yeah, now he understood the man’s gratitude.

“Why haven’t you been home for dinner? Papa and Mama are worried!”

“Didn’t you miss us, big brother?”

Auruo hoisted the little imps off himself, “You brats, you’re going to be the death of me! How did you get here? Pops and Ma are going to be worried sick, and have you been bothering Gunter for the whole day?”

“We came with Mrs Shulz, Papa and Mama said we could!”

“Big Brother Gunter gave us sweets!”

“He did, didn’t he?” Auruo raised a brow at his panicked comrade, “You’re both going to get rotten teeth.”

“Sorry, Auruo, I didn’t think it’d be a problem,” Gunter said, as he pulled Auruo off the ground.

“Nah, these brats are just good at wheedling things out of adults.”

“We won’t get rotten teeth! Auruo didn’t!” the taller one stuck out his tongue mischievously, “Papa and Mama said Auruo ate mountains of sweets when he was our age. He ate enough to give him a stomach ache!”

Petra snickered and Auruo flushed, “Don’t listen to these brats.”

“He did! He did! So we’re going to eat loads of sweets just like Big Brother!”

Eren froze at the sound of that. That sort of hero-worship didn’t end well. He’d recognize it anywhere. Levi’s fingers tightened on his waist, and abruptly, Eren remembered the awkward position Corporal Levi had him in.

“And when we’re big, we’re going to join the Survey Corps! We’ll put on those wings of freedom, just like Big Brother!”

Oh, boy. Eren had seen that one coming. But Auruo only blinked at his brothers blankly, seemingly unable to form a suitable response. And then, of all the brilliant things the man could come up with, he blurted out, “You can’t!”

“Why not?” the older one challenged.

The little one looked ready to burst into tears.

“Because… Just Because,” the man replied unconvincingly, “Well, because I said so.”

“B— Big Brother’s a meanie!”

“What? I’m not!”

“If you join the survey corps too, your Papa and Mama are going to be all alone. Who’ll take care of them if they fall ill? Who’ll cook their dinners for them, the way they cook your dinners for you now?” Eren asked gently.

All eyes turned to him, and Eren coughed uncomfortably from Corporal Levi’s side, struggling a little to be put down. The man took the hint in a short second, and lowered him to the floor.

“Who are you?” both boys asked curiously.

“I’m Eren Jaeger.”

“Are you from the survey corps too?”

Eren nodded.

“What about your Papa and Mama?” the older of the pair asked.

Eren suppressed a grimace, “The Titans killed them.”

The boy was immediately abashed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was some time ago,” he forced a grin, “I couldn’t protect my Mom, but you can still protect yours, see? Your Big Brother, his duty is to go out there and slay the Titans, to fight for Mankind. But he can’t do that if he’s to worry about your Papa and Mama back at home. So your duty, both of you, is to keep your family safe. That way, your Big Brother won’t be distracted when he’s out there fighting Titans.”

“Then Big Brother will come home safe?” the little one asked, eyes wide.

Eren swallowed pass the lump in his throat.

Auruo made a sound of irritation, enveloping his brothers in a giant hug before tickling them mercilessly, “Of course I’ll come home safe, you brats! The way I did every single time the survey corps went out of these walls, don’t you underestimate your Big Brother!”

“Big Brother’s strong, we know! We know!” they laughed.

“The strongest,” Auruo pressed on.

But his brothers exchanged glances, before shaking their heads adamantly, “Corporal Levi’s the strongest.”

“Even your brothers know where you stand, Auruo,” Erd teased.

“Oh shut up,” Auruo huffed.

Abruptly, Auruo’s brothers ran into the keep, leaving all of them dumbfounded at the doorway. But they soon appeared, hauling a large bag between them, with a woman who shared Gunter’s coloring trailing behind.

“Mrs. Shulz,” the Corporal nodded.

“Thank you for taking care of my boy, Corporal.”

“Mom…” Gunter protested.

Auruo chuckled, “Still a Mama’s boy, Gunter?”

“Big Brother, these are for you,” Auruo’s brothers said excitedly, “Paper cranes, if we fold a thousand of them, they say you’ll be blessed by the god’s protection.”  
Then their faces fell, and the older boy said, “But even with all five of us, and even with Papa and Mama’s help, we’ve only folded eight hundred and two. We know you’ll be leaving soon, so we’re giving these to you first, but we’ll still be folding them back at home. And when you’re back, we’ll make it to a thousand.”

“Make sure you’ve them all folded when I return,” Auruo grinned, ruffling his brother’s messy mop of hair.

“All right, all right, boys, we have to leave now. It’s getting dark, so say good-bye to your brother,” Mrs. Shulz smiled, turning to address the rest of them, “And I’ve left muffins in the kitchen, they’re freshly baked, so eat them when they’re hot.”

If anything, Gunter seemed more embarrassed, “Mom!”

“I worry about how you’ve been eating, Gunter, you need to put on more weight, you’re way too thin.”

“Mom!”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Shulz, you should see the way Gunter stuffs himself at the dinner table,” Erd continued solemnly, “He’s not starving himself, to say the least.”

“Erd!”

Gunter’s mother just smiled, eyes twinkling, “Thank you for looking out for Gunter too, Erd.”

“It’s no problem at all, Mrs. Shulz.”

“I hate you, Erd.”

They stood at the steps, as the boys and Mrs. Shulz got onto a hackney, and rode into the distance. They stood until they saw no more of Auruo’s brothers and Gunter’s mother. And Eren realized that, while his vengeance kept him going, it was love and a sense of familial duty that kept his squad mates game for anything, any Titan, fate threw their way.

They all had something to fight for. It wasn’t good or bad, really. It was just who they were.

  


### 7 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

“Control, isn’t something you pick up overnight, brat,” Corporal Levi lectured, “It’s something you hone, with practice and experience. You’re not going to chalk up experience in a couple of days, so we’re going with practice.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren breathed, swinging a wild punch that the Corporal easily deflected.

“Control,” Levi repeated, side-stepping when Eren kicked out, tripping the boy, and holding him down, “You suck at it.”

“Sorry… Sir… I’ll try… Harder at it…”

“You don’t try, Eren. When I tell you to do something, you do it,” the Corporal ordered, letting the boy up, “We’re seven days away from the fifty-seventh expedition. If you don’t learn to control your Titan, we’ll risk you if things go badly. Just because we’ve a way to get you out without killing you, doesn’t mean you get to slack off.”

“I’ll control my Titan,” Eren said, pushing off the ground.

Levi arched a brow, “You don’t even have the basics of self-control. I wouldn’t throw you down on your ass so easily, if you did.”

“I’ll do it,” Eren repeated, eyes blazing.

Both soldiers got in position, Eren with fists poised and Levi perfectly relaxed. The younger man breathed in deep, consciously clearing his head of stray thoughts, before he wound up his strength, and let it go in a swift strike. Levi moved, imperceptibly, but just enough for Eren to miss. His knee went up, but Eren spun, bringing out his elbow into the man’s ribs.

It didn’t land. Next thing he knew, a push sent him flying into the ground and face-first into the dirt. Yeah, that hurt.

“Better,” Corporal Levi remarked. And Eren perked up.

It had taken the Corporal all of ten seconds to send him to the ground, but the man had made note of his improvement. That was a good sign.

“You’re starting to keep your emotions in check. Keep it up.”

Eren got up, positioning himself one again. No anger, no desperation, make your movements economical, make every step count. Reiner and Annie had gone through the basics of hand-to-hand combat with him, and Corporal Levi had trained him over the weeks he’d stayed here. Calm, keep calm.

He swallowed, eyes darting across the Corporal’s relaxed stance to look for openings. Going at the man head on had proved ineffective. Didn’t that mean he ought to try something new? He let his breath out steadily through his mouth, fists at ready. Then he waited. One. Two. Three. Eren moved in from the front, rearing his fist back. And at the last moment, he pivoted on his ankle, homing in from the side.

For a moment there, he could have sworn the Corporal smiled, actually smiled, a good, genuine smile. But the second was over before Eren could confirm it, and Corporal Levi grappled, reeling him in with a death-grip on his wrist. Eren went with the movement, fist prepared to drive into the man’s solar plexus. But Levi twisted, hauling Eren up and over his shoulder and slamming him into the ground. Again.

Well. That went down fairly quickly.

“Not too shabby, brat,” the Corporal offered him a hand, to Eren’s surprise, “Looks like we’ve still a bit of time before Hanji gets here to test out your Titan shifting abilities. I can only hope your control stretches over to include your Titan.”

Eren grasped Corporal Levi’s hand in his, attempting to pull himself up, but he’d only served to tangle their legs and send both of them sprawling.

“Your physical co-ordination only works in combat, brat?”

“S—Sorry, Corporal.”

Eren wriggled, trying to climb out from under the Corporal, accidentally hooking his ankle across the older man’s knee and tripping the other man as he attempted to stand. That earned him an absolutely withering glare from Levi. And Eren gulped nervously.

“Eren.”

“S—Sorry, Corporal.”

“Are you _trying_ to make my control snap?”

“No, sir!”

Corporal Levi caged him in with a hand on either side of his head. Eren winced, closing his eyes as he waited for a blow to fall. Only, it didn’t happen.

Instead, Eren felt a breath, soft and warm, on his lips. And before he knew it, Corporal Levi had placed his lips over Eren's.

Eren's eyelids fluttered open. The Corporal's lips were on his? There was a word for this, wasn't there? What was it again? Oh right, a kiss. A kiss? The Corporal was kissing him?  
His lips parted to put across his question, but Corporal Levi seized the opportunity to dart his tongue in, licking Eren in a way that felt both awkward and sort of pleasant. Eren blinked curiously, trying to mimic the Corporal's actions. If anything, that only served to incite the older man.

Fingers languidly traced the area where his shirt was tucked into his pants, Eren let out an involuntary shiver. In response, Levi tugged out his shirt in a swift movement, cool fingers running up the sweat-damp skin of Eren's torso, to splay across his chest.

The man teased him excruciatingly and Eren was lost in a whirlwind of confusion and pleasure. He ground his hips against Corporal Levi's instinctively, as his commanding officer gently groped his ass. There was something definitely wrong about that sentence, but for the love of him, Eren couldn't think straight.

"Corporal," he bit out, as Levi lifted off him.

The man arched an arrogant brow, "Control, Eren."

"I can't--"

"What was that?" the Corporal taunted.

"Corporal, I--"

A particular vicious grabbing of his ass cut him off. And Eren gulped at the older man's unspoken threat. He hissed out, under his breath. And Corporal Levi brushed his lips across his temple. Eren shivered again, dazedly wondering if this was part of his training.

Pushing Eren's shirt up to bare his body while drawing circles across his skin, Levi toyed with Eren’s lips, nipping at them before kissing the boy fully. And Eren was left blatantly, brilliantly confused. The sweat and the grass… Corporal Levi hated dirt. So why they were both flat on the ground, with no noticeable inclination of getting up, confounded him. It confounded him.

Corporal Levi stood abruptly, sending a particularly savage kick at Eren’s midriff. The boy barely had any time to react before the Corporal’s foot connected. He doubled up immediately, pain shooting past every nerve-ending, numbing and hot. Corporal Levi only crossed his arms as an enthusiastic Squad Leader Hanji came prancing into the clearing.  
“Control yourself, Eren,” the older man said, “No one else can do that. You control yourself.”

He could do with the lesson, without the wandering hands, and severe beating. Eren winced as he fought to a sitting position, while Hanji teasingly scolded a distinctly unruffled Corporal Levi. For some reason or another, Eren’s control, both in and out of his Titan, improved exponentially after that session.

  


### 3 Days before the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

Erd had a quiet and serious demeanor, that was what Eren thought of the man. And occasionally, he’d reveal a wicked sense of humor. He was the Corporal’s second-in-command, so that meant he’d deserve a fair bit of respect. So on a day when Eren was assigned to stay within the Special Operations Wing with Erd Gin, while everyone else had matters elsewhere, he’d expected a long day of solitude and silence. And Erd really wasn’t one to disappoint. Only, the atmosphere was so terribly heavy and dismal, Eren would have thought the Titans had once again breached their walls somewhere.

In which case, Eren shouldn’t be holed up in the safety of their base, he ought to be fighting on the front lines, shoulder to shoulder with his comrades, dedicating himself to the good of Mankind, killing Titans. Killing the monsters who gave them hell. Crushing the ugly brutes who’d laughed at their misery, bathed in their crimson-tainted sorrow.  
“It’s quiet around here today,” Eren started conversationally, attempting to lift the man’s spirits, whilst figuring out if there really was a Titan breach somewhere along Wall Rose.

“Corporal Levi and the others went to clear our logistics. There’s been a hold-up with the Military Police, seems like they think we’re wasting resources.”

“Why don’t they want to get rid of the Titans? Besides, it’s our lives we’re risking, not theirs.”

Erd shrugged, “Some people are simply afraid. Afraid to change, afraid to unbalance the fragile status quo, afraid to fight. We all know fear, Eren. We just handle our fears differently, us and them.”

“I’m not afraid of those monsters.”

“All right, I’ll make an exception for you. Corporal Levi said that you were a monster,” Erd grinned to keep his words light, “Not because you turn into a Titan, but because no one can break you. You don’t fold, not to fear, not to contempt, not to authority, not to anyone or anything. You stay you.”

Eren raised his brows, “Was that a compliment?”

“A statement, actually.”

“I see.”

Both of them fell into a comfortable silence, before Erd began to look oddly depressed and Eren was once again curious to know if anything had befallen Wall Rose.

“Did anything happen?” Eren finally blurted out, not one for beating around the bush.

Erd frowned, brows drawn together, before he sighed and shook his head, “Nothing important.”

At that, Eren had a faint idea of what bothered the older man. And he could have kept silent, but Armin would always go on to ask, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ And so Eren followed his best friend’s example, all the while, expecting the refusal he’d always given.

Only Erd’s reply was, “Actually, I do. You don’t mind listening, do you, Eren?”

“I… don’t mind.”

“I’ve never made it public, but there’s a girl I’ve been seriously dating for some time now. She’s a childhood friend of mine.”

Dating Mikasa would be impossible. Eren just nodded.

“I asked her to marry me and she said, yes.”

Eren looked at the man quizzically. Marriage would be a cause for joy, and if it was a love-match, then the man ought to be a little happier. The girl he loved said, ‘yes’, wasn’t that something to be happy about?

Erd sighed, “I think the marriage is off now, though.”

“Why?”

“I called it off.”

“ _What?_ ”

“It’s for the best.”

Eren’s eyes narrowed, “You don’t look like it’s for the best.”

“I mean, for her. If she marries me, she might end up a widow one day. I don’t know if I can give her the sort of family she wants, she deserves. If we marry, then I’ll just be putting her through hell every time we go outside the walls. I’ve seen the families our soldiers leave behind, they were distraught when all that returned of our men were arms and legs.”  
“You’re scared,” Eren said slowly.

Erd glared for a moment, before relenting, “I guess I am.”

“It’s not like she’ll stop worrying or caring about you, you know,” Eren shrugged, “I could tell Mikasa to leave me alone and she’ll still treat me like I’m her baby brother. No, actually, if I told Mikasa that, she’d punch the lights out of me first.”

“You think I did her wrong by breaking it off?”

“I’m not saying that it’s wrong or right. I’m just telling you what I think of it.”

“I’m horrible for feeling relieved when you said she’d still care.”

“Not horrible. Human.”

They sat at the table, lost in their separate thoughts, before Erd gave Eren a threatening glare, “If you breathe a word of this to the others, I’m going to hurt you.”

Eren grinned, “Sure thing.”

  


### 1 Day after the 57th Expedition outside the Walls

Pain, the pain was natural. The pain meant that they’d been real. Petra. Auruo. Gunter. Erd. Because if they hadn’t been real, then neither of them would hurt like this.  
Eren cursed himself silently, he’d chosen wrong. Desperately, terrifyingly, disastrously wrong. How many had died because of that one little choice? How many died because he chose to burden his comrades, instead of carrying the weight of their fates upon his overly massive, Titan shoulders? He’d been a coward, and they had paid for it with their lives.

“Don’t think,” the Corporal instructed.

Eren struggled to oblige. He didn’t want to think of their failure, he didn’t want to think of his comrade’s deaths. But they haunted him still. He didn’t understand why Corporal Levi didn’t blame him. He certainly blamed himself. He’d chosen wrong, their deaths were on him, their failure was on him. Worse, he’d lost to the female-typed Titan. He’d lost in a fight. The Corporal got hurt in a bid to save him. Which part of this wasn’t his fault? Damn it!

The Corporal put his lips on— no, kissed, him then. The kiss was hard, bruising and painful. It drew blood from Eren’s lips, a salty, tangy flavor tinged with bitterness and loss. Eren licked at the Corporal’s lips, and for a moment, he’d have thought he tasted the anger and despair of dried tears. But then the Corporal took over again, and the kiss went from slow and experimental, to heated and brutal.

Pain, a physical pain to eclipse the one that tore away at their hearts. Eren felt the older man’s coiled strength, so tightly wound up in the core of his body. Corporal Levi had beaten the shit out of him on more occasions than he could remember. He respected the man a good deal. And now all that violence was locked up somewhere deep in the man, but Eren knew by now how much the Corporal wanted to destroy something, to hurt someone.

Shit, he was scared. He was scared of the Corporal; there was no shame in that. Afraid of what the Corporal could, and would, do to him, if he pushed the man the wrong way. They were in his Dungeon, under the Special Operation’s Wing. They were leaving for the Capital by sunrise on the following morn. The Special Operations Squad had been decimated. There was no one else but them.

“Brat, look at me.”

He turned his hate-filled, furious eyes, half of it self-loathing, on the Corporal. And he didn’t see anything, not the loneliness of a man who’d lost some of his dearest companions, not the horror or rancor of an only survivor, not even the jaded cynicism of someone who’d seen too many dead.

“They died making a difference for humanity.”

“I know.”

“Their deaths served as a foothold for humanity to take a step forward.”

“Why does it matter?” Eren tore out abruptly.

That earned him a punch in the gut. Even injured, Corporal Levi could still deal out severe ass kicking. He’d known that, but the Corporal just drove the point home.

“It matters because you’re acting like a brat, and cheapening their deaths,” the Corporal said, voice dangerously cold, “It matters because they made a difference, and they’re going to continue making a difference because their deaths will make you stronger. Their deaths will shape your resolve, and you will fight with the weight of their deaths pushing you forward, and you will win humanity’s battle in their namesake. Are we perfectly clear, Eren?”

“Yes, sir.”

The Corporal then grabbed him by his nightshirt and sent his buttons flying. Eren tensed, as Levi kept a bruising pressure on his wrists, molding the line of their bodies together and lowering them to the bed. He started at the strangely intimate contact of bare skin to skin. But it didn’t feel bad, just different.

He didn’t understand this. Corporal Levi remained aloof and unaffected, but at the same time, so terribly destructive. The springs of his mattress creaked under their combined weights, Eren stilled when the Corporal divested him of his pants, and he almost stopped breathing altogether when the man reached up to fondle his bare ass.

Corporal Levi released his wrists, and Eren flexed his fingers uncertainly, unsure of where to put his hands. The older man glanced at him, short and sharp, before he barked out in command, “Shoulders, or the headboard.”

He reached out hesitantly, a hand on the Corporal’s shoulder to steady himself as he muffled his cries with the other. Corporal Levi’s touch was almost careful, poised with so much impending violence Eren didn’t know how to react. The man’s fingers circled his sensitive bits and Eren tensed, before pleasure uncoiled in him rearing its ugly head, and he dug his nails into the Corporal’s skin, drawing blood.

His first instinct was to apologize, but the Corporal swallowed his apologies in a mind-numbing kiss. Eren’s hips bucked, as Corporal Levi probed into his tight, tensed up passage. He hissed out softly, as the Corporal worked to stretch him out. Pain burned through his nerve-endings, pleasure tailing it closely. And he bit out an emphatic curse into the crook of the Corporal’s neck.

“Relax, Eren,” the Corporal said, not in the soothing voice of a lover, but that could hardly be expected of him.

Eren breathed in deep, relax. He tried. Then the man removed his fingers, and Eren felt abruptly hollow. He made a noise of protest, and Corporal Levi arched a brow, before replacing his fingers with himself. Eren arched his body into the Corporal, torn between pulling closer and pulling away. The pain was all at once searing and hot and unimaginable. It tore him into pieces, and rebuilt him from his ashes. He craved that pain almost as he did the crushing pleasure.

“Corporal,” he said, a fervent prayer, a desperate curse.

“Stop thinking. Let it go. Just feel.”

And then something inside of him shattered, and he cried out. He cried out at their deaths, at his failure, at his weakness. He cried out for the pathetic little boy he still was, despite training harder than he ever could, for failing to protect those who mattered to him. And the Corporal’s body hard and hot against him kept him from going over the edge. The pain and pleasure kept him grounded to humanity, and finally the anger dissipated and Eren clung on the Corporal’s unyielding warmth as if it were the only thing holding him down in a violent storm.

They moved together, matching the other man’s rhythm perfectly. The Corporal going brutally fast and hard, unleashing all the violence he’d kept closed off for too long. And in that final moment, Eren caught a glimpse of one man’s anger, desperation and hope for a better world, a better life.

The heated breaths, pained gasps and unshed tears tipped the both of them over in a sweet release into a blissfully blank oblivion.

In the heavy, mildly comforting shadows of the night, Eren found a moment to make peace with the boy who was weak, the boy who cried because he hadn’t protected anyone in the end. The expedition wasn’t over just because they were back within the walls. The last lesson Squad Levi gave him in the wake of their deaths, was to never forget the might of humanity. Because their deaths would make him strong, their deaths would shape his resolve and he would go forward with the weight of their deaths pushing him on.

And as that terrible weight gave Corporal Levi the might of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, it would shape him into Humanity’s Last Hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Belatedly realizes that Eren isn't technically legal. I'll just assume the legal system works different in SnK-verse.


End file.
